Tough Stuff

Benny is definitely at a questioning age and I know the questions are only going to get tougher as he gets older. On two separate occasions during our Chicago/Wisconsin trip this weekend we were faced with the topic of homosexuality. First, on a sidewalk in Chicago there were some guys surveying people. They did not approach us but we did hear them say to someone “Hi, we are for gay rights and wondered if we might ask you a few questions?” First of all, I was a bit offended that they didn’t ask us our opinion. Just because I am with my husband and two young sons does not mean I am not for gay rights, which I am as a matter of fact. Second of all, I am a wimp as my response to Benjamin who tilted his head up to me and said “what’s gay rights?” was “um, I’m not sure. Look at that cool building over there.” Parenting fail.

The second “encounter” was at the wedding. There was a woman who sat in front of us at the wedding and on the way back to the hotel, Dean and I were questioning who she was and Dean had said “I think it was Hailey’s girlfriend.” Sitting in the back seat, Ben piped up “How can a girl have a girlfriend?” Again, taking the wimpy way out, I immediately said “well I have a lot of girl friends, why can’t a girl have a girlfriend?” Dean and I then had a quick quieter converasation about how we are both in agreement that there is nothing wrong with being homosexual and we want to impress equality and acceptance on both of our boys but we just didn’t feel like that was a conversation hat needed to be had at that moment….we were wondering if that was a good choice or a bad choice later on that night when we arrived at the reception and saw that we were seated with Hailey…and her girlfriend. Here we go. You know what? It was fabulous. Katie and Hailey talked about their upcoming wedding in September and I kept waiting for eagle ear Benny to pipe up with questions about two women getting married but he never did. I am so excited to have Katie and Hailey for an example whenever the conversation regarding homosexuality does come up. They are a perfectly normal, happy, loving couple and I think it will be nice for Ben to have a reference point for what a “gay marriage” looks like.
I guess I just don’t feel like there is even a reason to initiate a big conversation about homosexuality. Love is love and it is not our place to judge other people’s choices…it is simply our job to respect and love everyone. I hope that by making homosexuality a “nonissue,” we will show the boys that it is no big deal and not something to be afraid of or really even question. I hope, when faced again with a situation where that conversation naturally arises, I will not be a wimp and will put my big girl pants on and have a candid, open, honest conversation with Ben that is centered around love and acceptance and not on fear or judgment.